I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she told me i tasted like america
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize