I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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