belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
