Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He better not be in your backpack
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
