Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
