he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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