Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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