i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
