Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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