they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
