But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
