What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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