Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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