i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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