I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
