He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
