could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
