he thought i was a dude.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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