I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
