Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
