After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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