Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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