Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
