I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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