he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
As shirtless as possible
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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