If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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