just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Congratulations! We have a period
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