I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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