dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
