I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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