Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
