I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That was an excessively violent trivia night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
