Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
