I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
