I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize