I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
