this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
