My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize