why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
