The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
