They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
