the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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