Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
