I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
