It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
