is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I love having hate sex.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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