I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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