We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
