Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
