so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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