I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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