My nipple is on Facebook.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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