Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you traded sex for a burrito?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize