take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
