HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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