Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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