We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
