omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
