I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
