So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
