before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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