you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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