I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How does one acquire holy water?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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