Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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