white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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